Going Public

July 2011

I started this blog as an outlet for myself. At first I made it private so only close friends and family could read about this journey of grief. I thought my thoughts were far too private to post for just anyone to see. Now after 7 months I have found so many other moms like me because they were willing to post their private thoughts. They have helped me in so many ways and because of that I feel it is important to share my story. My story is a sad one, but it is not all sad because I would never go back to a life without Addison. She is my first born daughter and I love her with every breath I take. People don't understand why I wouldn't just erase the hurt if I could, but I could never erase Addison from my story. I will spend my life missing her, but I am so grateful for our time with her no matter how brief. She is the true love of our lives.

Sharing Addison brings me peace and if I can help other families like us by sharing our story or by helping others who haven't experienced the loss of a child to understand just a little piece of what this is like for families like us then maybe I have made a small difference. Baby loss is still so taboo and that makes it an even harder, lonlier loss. I have learned a harsh lesson in life that sometimes babies just die. It's important to talk about and important for us to know that Addison will never be forgotten. We hope there will be more babies, but there will NEVER be another Addison.