Wednesday, March 7, 2012

1st Childbirth Class...

We did it...completed the first childbirth class out of 4 and it was more of a disaster than a success. Here's why:

1. It is at the hospital where Addison was born, when we tried to find the classroom we were told to go to Labor and Delivery as that was where the class was being held...WHAT!?!? Turns out it wasn't, but we had to go there just to be told the next rat race to follow to get to it. Happy families all over waiting for babies to be born...alive of course. ugh.

2. We were super early as we had come from visiting my grandma (who is doing great so far). So looking for the class wasn't as easy because no one had come yet. It wound up being in the basement of the hospital in a totally random location. Plus the door to get in had a card reader on it so we weren't sure how to get into the room. Finally a few people started showing up and confirmed that we WERE in the right place. Still so weird. I guess because the hospital is under construction that's why the odd location, but it felt like a treasure hunt...with no treasure!

3. The class is about half as big as the one we took with Addison. This could be good, but to me it seemed worse because that means there are less couples to scope out!

4. Hello meet Mrs. Judgmental (that's me). I couldn't help, but have an opinion about every couple. Too young, too happy, too whatever. Then once we announced what we were having boy/girl the options dropped by half (no baby girls for me remember).

5. One mom was someone I had known before getting pregnant either time, but I hadn't seen her in years, that was awkward too. We are not friends, but we know each other...sort of...just weird.

6. The instructor asked how many of us were NOT first time parents. Brian and I looked at each other a raised our hands. Along with one other couple. She asked the first couple how many children they had already. That was easy! Then she asked us, we said one. I thought YES! That was way better than all the scenarios that were playing in my head, but then it wasn't over...she RECOGNIZED us! Oh God. She got all excited and said she remembered us from her class before and asked how old our first was. I panicked. My face got red. I just mumbled that we would tell her about our daughter after class. Her face changed, she changed the subject. Thank God. I could have handled it better, but that's what came out. Brian leaned over to me and whispered "well that was awkward". At that point I was really regretting my decision to go to this class. Caroline you were right...I should have just said she passed away and left it at that.

7. Our husbands/birth partners were asked to introduce us, say what we were having, when we are due and and what the highlight has been. Then the moms were asked to say one highlight and one not so highlight of the pregnancy. Brian did well then it was my turn....the highlight...the mind was racing...I couldn't come up with one. I said my highlight hadn't happened yet, that I was looking forward to bringing him home. And my not so highlight was easy! It was simply how much I worry. Brian was upset with me for not saying a highlight...ugh.

8. At break we walked by the instructor and she asked if we had lost our baby. We told her the story and she was shocked. She was really nice and apologized for asking us about our baby in front of everyone. She basically offered up anything extra she could do for us, which was sweet. She even offered to take us to see our favorite nurse. I told her we were already friends on FB and keep in contact regularly. Still very nice. I doubt she will forget us now. Not really what you want to be remembered for!

9. As class was wrapping up I was surprised at how well we did seeing the other couples, listening to her talk about the "wonder" that is having a child and the videos of live birth. Of course there were lots of looks between Brian and I throughout, but nothing to interrupt class.

10. Leaving class I felt a bit defeated. Yes, we did it, but it didn't seem like it was going to be worth it in the end. Part of me wants to go again next week (maybe because I like to torture myself/maybe there is still a part of me that is hopeful/maybe a little of both). I don't know. We will see what next week brings.

After class I had a text waiting for me from my friend Julie from our first childbirth class. She must have known I was missing her! Reminded me of why we were doing this again. I don't think I talked to Julie until the 3rd or 4th class so maybe there is still a chance of this being worth it!


  1. Yeah, my GD class was awkward enough, childbirth classes and bf'ing classes were a big fat no way. I mean, the c-section was nothing new and breastfeeding we figured out on our own.

  2. Wow. No way in hell could I do what you did! Proud of you! But damn, that's some kind of torture!!!

  3. Oh girlfriend. Get used to be "known" if you're giving birth in the same hospital. At least we're freaking well known creating such a stink with B in the NICU... but really. People remember "that couple" without a doubt.

    Glad you were able to talk with the instructor about Addi and clear things up. But holy crap. I so could not be even close to that room... no matter what you think, you are strong. Keep it up, mama!

    And I'll give you a highlight: getting pregnant! Because what's worse than pregnancy after loss is the TTC part!

  4. You are brave. Good job :)