Monday, February 13, 2012

Baby registry and movement worries

This weekend we did a "take two" of registering for Mason since the first time didn't go so well. I think it well for the most part. Every time I have ever registered for anything with Brian I ALWAYS give him the gun. It seems to keep him interested and for the most part he will not stray too far because he knows I will be calling for him to come scan whatever thing I find.

There were pregnant chicks EVERYWHERE in this store and it felt like I was being suffocated by them...hard to believe I AM one of them, but I still feel no connection.

We kept to ourselves and tried to spend as little time at the desk as possible. The girl helping us get started asked if this was our first. I didn't hesitate, I said no calm, cool, and matter of fact. She didn't ask more questions and I was glad. When we were finished with her she asked AGAIN if this was our first, I was irritated, but just answered the same way I did before. I didn't offer extra information which helped her not to ask more questions. I didn't want to be rude, but I wanted to give across the vibe that we are not new at this, we know what we are doing, now give us the gun and leave us alone!

I'm not sure how long we stayed, but it was long enough and we were both pretty tired from it. I'm glad to have it over with...well almost over with. With every registry wedding, Addison and I'm sure Mason, Brian always gets "scan happy" with the gun. I ALWAYS have to go back online and delete the really weird stuff he adds when he thinks I am not looking. I also saw him scan a couple outfits he liked multiple times in multiple sizes...we really don't need one outfit in EVERY size. It was actually kind of funny how into the clothes Brian was getting. I even made a comment about it because he never said anything about clothes with Addison. He said that he knew I had girl clothes covered and since I am not excited about boy clothes, he is getting us both on board!

It's true...I really don't give a crap about boy clothes. Of course I want my boy to be dressed nice, but when they have the boy clothes right next to the girl clothes I get lost in the ruffles and fluff. I did see Brian looking sadly at a pink outfit that said "I <3 Daddy" broke my heart. Anyways any of the clothes we registered for were picked out by Brian and some of them WILL be deleted...I can only write that because Brian doesn't read my blog anymore and I won't get caught...so don't tell him!

That night we got home and made dinner. After dinner we fell in to our routine of relaxing on the couch. This is always when Mason gets super active, but he didn't. I was started to worry and finally Brian noticed how distracted I was. He asked what was wrong and I said I wasn't feeling the normal movements I feel at this time of night. I could tell he was worried too, but tried to act like he wasn't. He poked at my belly and brought out his phone to play music. We got a couple really good strong kicks, which made Brian relax, but I was still worried. These were moves that we "forced" they weren't the normal ones that happen on his own.

That night I felt some moves just before falling asleep, but they still weren't the ones I am used to. We had a busy day that day and I was trying to rationalize in my head all the reasons his pattern was different. I didn't sleep very well and when I woke up I wasn't feeling my morning moves either! I poked, I prodded, I convinced myself we SHOULD have gone to the hospital last night. I got out of bed and grabbed the doppler. I have probably only used it a dozen times, but each time has saved us from an ER visit! I found his heartbeat right away, nice and strong. Then he started kicking at the doppler...little booger...NOW he starts kicking!

In my head I KNOW movements change, in my head I KNOW this is normal, but in my heart I am constantly convinced this baby WILL die too. We still have approximately 9.5 weeks left of this pregnancy and I really don't want to be the girl that comes into labor and delivery at every change, but at the same time if it keeps Mason alive I am more than happy to go in every day until then! I think this is going to be a LONG 9.5 weeks! Trying to keep my crazy to a minimum, but it may not be possible the closer we get! Thankfully I have had good movement since getting to work. I just hope the routine comes back!

9 comments:

  1. I totally understand your anxiety and am sure I will feel the same way when movements change. I'm already wishing these little 20-week flutters were more consistent! Are you doing kick counts? Has your doctor recommended them? Just wondering if that might help ease your worries. Best of luck getting through the coming weeks!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You have every right to visit as often as you need to, and call whenever you're worried... I'm sure they'd understand :) Love to you always xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't know how my friends feel about me registering through amazon but I did not want to have to deal with going into a baby store and registering and having people ask me about my pregnancy.
    My little babe's kicking is so sporadic also. I have many freak outs already where she has 2 days of kicking like crazy and then will go 2 days with barely anything. I wish they would understand we need consistency here. Everyday, after meals, before bed, some sort of action daily so we don't go crazy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I wanted to ask if you're doing kick counts as well. I think it's helped bring my crazy to a minimum in the weeks from where you are until now (when I am absolutely crazy as we're literally right around the corner and no amount of kicks can really soothe me).

    Your NSTs should be starting relatively soon, right? 3-4 weeks away? I found those to be invaluable for my sanity and LOVE going in for them twice a week. That means I have 2 solid hours of knowing he's okay for the week.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I remember the fear like it was yesterday...hang in there. Kick counts definitely helped me and i always drank a bottle of cold water before doing them...it always seemed to get him moving,
    I know it still seems so far away, but believe it or not the weeks will start moving once you move to regular appt's and extra monitoring. Thinking about you constantly and hoping your little man keeps up those kicks in order to keep you sane these last 2 months!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sweetie, if you need to go into L&D multiple times for your peace of mind, please do it! That's what they're there for...and you have enough to worry about without having to worry that you should have gone but chose not to, you know? I'm glad registering went better this time. Too funny about the clothes. You know I won't tell on you...Paul doesn't read my blog anymore, either, and has missed a LOT!! :P

    ReplyDelete
  7. That fear is still so clear in my mind. I did kick counts, and they helped just a little bit with my sanity. I know that there were super duper active days, and those days I felt as comfortable as possible. Then, it seems like after an active day or two, there was a day or 2 of small, spaced out swishes and kicks...those days, I was a nervous wreck. On the slow days, I just used the doppler to help my worry.

    Hang in there, you're doing great!

    ReplyDelete
  8. "There were pregnant chicks everywhere" - ha! I know how you feel. It's weird to be one of them and still want them all out of my sight.

    I say go to L&D whenever you want to - you've earned that right.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh mama - I remember this so well. I remember lying on the sofa willing him to move and crying and asking my husband why he wasn't and I couldn't go through it again :( I second everyone who says go to L&D if you're worried. We have every right to have our concerns taken seriously - even if it means setting up camp at the hospital!

    This last bit is hard but you're doing so well. Virtual hand holding from across the pond for the next 9.5 weeks :)

    ReplyDelete