Thursday, February 16, 2012

29 Weeks

How Far Along: 29 weeks (our baby is as big as a Butternut Squash).
Maternity Clothes: Still nothing new
Movement: His schedule has changed, which I am really sad about. I was really used to the schedule we had going. I have learned to concentrate on his movement at whatever time of day it comes.
Gender: A brother for Addison, Mason Alexander.
Symptoms: Runny nose, headaches, heart burn, my hips pop when I get out of bed, thicker hair (or at least less is falling out in the shower and sensitive eyes. More day time bathroom breaks.
Cravings: Nothing...well maybe fruit, but it could just be that I love fruit and it is more in season now.
Belly Button In or Out: Still in, still "looks down towards the ground".
Best Moment this week: I don't know if there was one "best" moment. I suppose the best part of this week was that I didn't cry once...that's like a record after the last few weeks. I'm still stressed, still worried, still grieving, but this week things didn't feel quite as heavy as they have been.
Freak-out of the week: I got pretty worried when Mason's movements changed and I didn't feel him when I normally do. Then there have been financial freak-outs, but as much as those suck I am able to work through them a little better knowing in the end it's just money.
What I miss: Not worrying so much...about everything.
What I am looking forward to: We are having breakfast with some friends we haven't seen in a while this weekend and dinner with the two couples from the childbirth class we took with Addison, it's always good to see them! Also I have Monday off work, which is one of the very best gifts to me!
Next Appointment: Friday, February 24th.
Something Else: Last Thursday night we had one of our support group meetings (one where I normally don't feel it would be appropriate to talk about pregnancy), but this week only one other couple was there and they are our friends so we were able to talk about ALL of our grief and what is going on. It was so nice not to have to hide being pregnant. I felt really good when we left.

We had our ultrasound on the 10th and hearing everything looked good and that Mason isn't 6 weeks ahead was so nice. Any time I hear he is healthy and alive makes me feel lighter.

Spent the weekend with friends and got some things done around the house although not as much as I was hoping. I felt like I had some energy back (not a lot, but more than what I have had).

Valentine's Day was good. Brian sent me flowers to my office on Monday (I like getting flowers the Monday before any "event" so I have them all week long to enjoy). We didn't do anything fancy. I got up early to make him breakfast before work and lunch to take (I hate getting up early and I NEVER make him lunch so it was all about doing the small things that I know he appreciates). He came home that night with he "cooked". I didn't care as long as I didn't have to think about it or cook! No big night out for us, but I hate crowds and feeling rushed so it was a great night "in" for us. Valentine's Day is also my parent's anniversary (31 years) so I always think of it as their day. Although word to the wise ladies, my mom says never get married on a holiday because you only get one bouquet of flowers ;) ha ha My dad has always made Valentine's day special for my siblings and me too. We always woke up to treats outside our doors and now we get flowers and candy at work even as grown-ups, it's one of my favorite things because it's something JUST my dad does. A girl can always count on her dad, luckily I can count on Brian now too :) And last, but not least I will throw in an honorable mention to our first dog Annie. She turned 9 on Valentine's Day. God, I love that pain in the ass dog. We had a little talk though...she is either to start calming down (I mean come on, 9 is an old lady in dog years IT'S TIME) or she has to promise not to live older than 12. Now you are probably thinking I am the worst person on the planet for saying that, but you don't live with her and don't understand what a HUGE pain in the ass she truly is. She is welcome to come stay with you for a weekend if you need help understanding!

Last night Brian and I babysat for our friends so they could have their Valentine's dinner. It went really good. I mean I expected it to, but since we have never been with her without her parents before I wasn't sure how she would feel about that. The little girl we watched is about 2 weeks younger than Addi would have been and is very special to us because she would have been Addi's BFF, for reals. So it was nice to hang out with her, just wish it could have been with Addi too. Would have been amazing to watch two little blondies run around the house playing. I would say my only worry came when she went down for bed. She started coughing a little and then bigger and every time I was SURE she was choking so I checked on her 80 gazillion times. I am seriously going to be the biggest nut job when/if Mason ever comes home. Sometimes babies cough...I know this in my head, but wow I just couldn't stop worrying!

We found out yesterday that our stop-loss for insurance is going up 2-3x what we thought it was going to be (JUST in time for Mason to be born). We already knew Mason was  going to cost more (hospital wise) than Addi, but we didn't know about this increase. Awesome. Don't get me wrong, he will be worth every penny, but it would be nice if we could catch a break...somewhere...anywhere???  Also the biggest week at Brian's store just happens to be the week we will probably induce. Brian MUST be at work this week, but he also MUST be at the hospital with me and he/we more than deserve the measly week he will get off to stay home with us, but you can't be at two places at once. Obviously if it comes down to it, he picks us, but it just sucks because this is such an important week for him to be at work and we need him to be there. Why THIS week? Again still waiting for that break. Also took my car in this morning for an oil change and it looks like I am due for some big mile-maintenance...the price I was quoted is double any service I have had in the past...great way to start out the day. I'm not going to lie....I seriously contemplated sitting in the corner and pouting! It's always something isn't it?!? I suppose money worries are easier than dead baby worries, but man they hit hard too!


  1. So sorry about all the financial worries. That kind of stress isn't the same as dead baby worries, but it's still draining.

    Some friends of mine had a gorgeous golden retriever who was SO hyperactive and crazy... for the first ten years of his life. Then he spent a few years being the most lovable, laid-back, lazy dog ever. So maybe Annie will come around? Valentine's Day is also our Cooper's birthday!

    And I think it's brilliant to get flowers on Monday and enjoy them all week long!

    I hope things work out with your due date. Maybe Mason will give you a break and come a little early?

  2. Ack, I have a huge "bag lady" button so I get the financial fears. They're crippling sometimes. My honey is so non-chalant about it, and I'm way on the other end of the scale (probably not in a good way, LOL!), so we balance eachother out. I think. :) I'll have to look into that stop-loss insurance thing. Interesting.

    We, too, were thrilled to be able to talk real "right now" stuff at the group last week. It meant so much, and we had fun chatting after! Wish all meetings could feel so good, but alas.

    Hugs to you and Brian!

    (P.S. I've had those same convos in my head with my old cat. All three pets are getting on my last nerve, making me contemplate life without pets for awhile after they all pass away. I haven't been petless for over 14 years, but this particular combo of two cat-one dog foibles is making me crazy!)

  3. Catch a break? hahahah. I laughed because I totally get that. Like, haven't we paid the price enough?

    You're already 29 weeks and totally in the 3rd trimester! Wow, mama!

  4. Hope the financial stress eases up... you guys have it so hard in the US with insurance etc... hope a break comes your way and that your husband is able to take as much time off as possible when your little one arrives :) Love always xoxo

  5. Doesn't it always seem like when it rains, it pours? Financial stuff is just...blegh. I HATE having to deal with money stuff. Like really, hate it. I wish I could just do whatever I want and have whatever I want with no money involved!! ;) Seriously though, to me, there are few things worse than insurance/medical bills. They charge SO MUCH for all the things they do. And they're allowed to because of the insurance companies. It's really just this big ugly circle. Yuck.

    I really hope that the due date/induction stuff works out with Brian's schedule. I'm sorry that you guys are having to think about that in addition to dealing with everything else!

    You're doing so great, though! Proud of you!