We spent the day shopping for things to decorate Addi's stone with for her birthday. I was never able to come up with a definite plan for her birthday (not knowing for sure when her stone would be placed). I thought that since yesterday really felt like the 4th that we should treat today like the 5th since the weather was beautiful and being Sunday everyone was available while the sun was still up.
We rushed around trying to find everything we needed. It all took longer than expected and finding a shepherd's hook was down right impossible (we found one, but not easily).
I would say the only thing that helped my mood was each time my phone buzzed with a new email, text, etc. of people letting me know they were thinking of Addi.
Once we got to the cemetery it was just after 3pm. The weather was beautiful, but so cold! We decorated Addi's stone and sat around and talked. It looked like a serious production with so many cars. It was just my parents, siblings, grandparents and two friends. It was VERY last minute and not well thought out at all, but it worked. I feel guilty for not putting something bigger together, but I really couldn't handle it.
We released balloons and took pictures, but it certainly wasn't any kind of first birthday you would ever hope for. We only stayed for an hour or so because it was so cold, but it was enough.
Our family tradition is root beer floats for birthdays so we decided that was the plan for this evening. Brian and I picked up Addi's cake and headed over to my parent's house. We sat around and visited, ate root beer floats and then lit Addi's candle and sang happy birthday. I wasn't sure I wanted to...it seemed so weird and yet I knew if we didn't I would regret it...so we did. After that we went outside to light the floating and the flying Chinese lanterns. Unfortunately I don't think any pictures of this turned out, but the video did and I was pretty happy about that.
All in all the day was not as bad as I expected other than how Brian and I were being. Not our best day and not normal for us, but I suppose we can't be super happy with each other every day of our lives so hopefully we got it out of our systems today!
I'm glad today is over and I think I will be even more glad when tomorrow is over...it's all about surviving these days...right?!?
Been thinking so much about Addison, which isn't far from any other day. It just sucks SO much not to have her. That these very special days are so much less than they could be.
This weekend I think of my girl and the other babies that share this day in December.
|We had bracelets made with Addison's name and birthday...want one? We had to buy 200!|
|Addi's very own "mini" root beer float cup...we are serious root beer float drinkers!|
|Getting the flying lanterns ready...no good pictures from outside, but it was beautiful and I am glad we did it.|