Friday, December 9, 2011

19 Weeks

How Far Along: 19 weeks (our baby is as big as a Mango)
Maternity Clothes: Just got two big bag fulls from my friend Kiersten who I absolutely adore. Wearing one of her shirts today :)
Movement: It's been pretty steady although could be more frequent for my own sanity. There were several freak outs when it had been a while in between movements.
Sleep: is interrupted by 1-2 bathroom breaks each night. With such a heavy week I have been late to bed and early to rise so I have been in a constant state of tired this week!
Gender:  I'm so nervous about this...more nervous about a live baby, but it still worries me.
Symptoms: Runny nose, sneezing isn't always safe...I either celebrate after a sneeze or have to go change...that part isn't so fun, but it's worth it.
Cravings: Cuties (you know those little oranges).
Belly Button In or Out: in
Best Moment this week:  There were several. We got to HEAR our baby's heartbeat for the first time last Friday and our doctor found it right away with no drama!
Our doctor spent our whole appointment asking about Addison's birthday and how we were doing. It was really wonderful to have him show so much interest in our girl and how we are doing.
We got the results back from our quad screen test and baby passed with flying colors!
My friend K let us borrow her doppler so now we can listen to the baby whenever we want. The other night I was doing it myself and felt the baby kick through the wand, I passed the wand to Brian and he felt it too, it was amazing. Still can't feel anything just touching the belly though.
Lastly, we survived Addi's birthday and the days surrounding it. It was sad and wonderful to feel thins baby moving on the day Addi died and the days after when I knew that this time last year I was feeling nothing.
Freak-out of the week: This baby will move and be on a semi-schedule and then not for a while and that not time makes me crazy. Very thankful to have the doppler now.
What I miss: Being excited for Christmas.
What I am looking forward to: Sleeping in tomorrow. I need some sleep!
Next Appointment: Friday, December 23rd.
Something Else: Read this morning that the Duggar Family miscarried their 20th child in the 2nd tri-mester, they found out at 19w 1 d and baby had stopped growing around 16w. I get that people have some pretty strong opinions about this family, but it breaks my heart that they will be going through this. Their baby was only one day farther along than this baby and I just really understand how awful that would be. I have said before it wouldn't matter if we had 20 children, they wouldn't replace the one we lost and now they will know that too. It's been weighing heavily on my mind for several reasons. Terrible that they have to go through this in the public eye (even if they put themselves in there to begin with). Then there is the other part I worry about....that they will act like it was just God's plan and everything is fine...that will really piss me off. Now I am rambling, but the public hears so little about this taboo subject that the times they do hear about it needs to be from my BLM friends who echo how this this. I guess I have just been putting a lot of thought into it and am so sorry that any baby especially ones so loved and wanted don't get to stay.


  1. I'm a Duggar-judger. I hate that my first instinct was, "well duh, her ute must be just worn out", but I do feel badly that they lost their baby. Really badly. But I'm totally with you on it being "God's will" and then will brush it aside, that breaks my heart. :(

    BTW, I totally pee when I sneeze now (and also when I vomit, it's incredibly sexy, and let's just say I'm glad I'm already pregnant because I can't imagine it would be an attractive quality for Scott. ha :)

  2. You're halfway, my friend! Thank goodness, right?

    About the Duggars. I take great offense to ANYONE (including BLMs) who pulls the whole "God's will" card on baby loss. God did not WILL my son to be dead before he took his first breath outside of my body.

    And dare they say that to my face, I'd scream with anger. I think she needs to stop having babies, but regardless, loss is loss and she has lost a baby. That I mourn for her and their family.

  3. I have conflicted feelings on the Duggars too. But mostly just sad. Sad that a baby who was wanted and who would have been cared for passed away. It just sucks.

    But I'm so happy to see your updates and your progression. I'd also like to see more belly pics :)

  4. I am so happy everything is going well for you. Can't wait to hear if Addison is going to have a little brother or sister. I remember the anxiety before we found out...completely normal!!

  5. Yay for 19 weeks! I'm probably abnormal for an infertile + BLM, but I've always viewed the Duggars as a couple with a lot of blessings. My mom nearly hates them for reasons I don't understand. Having now TTC for 4 years, I feel they are very, very blessed, they seem like a very nice family with good children and they treat eachother with respect. I cried when I read of their loss...I *totally* understand the devastation of an early 2nd trimester loss and even if they are able to lean on their faith - which I wish I had myself - it is going to really hurt their hearts.

    What do you do, though, if you have a faith where you don't believe in birth control and yet have a happy, healthy marriage? Live out the rest of your fertile days abstaining from sex?! That's not very reasonable...

    I just hope everything turns out ok for them. I think about them daily...just like I think about you, missy!