Tuesday, November 22, 2011

I made the call

It's just two weeks until Addison's birthday and I finally did it...I made the call. The call that finalized the draft for the headstone and it is officially in production. Ugh.

I had to call at work because the guy I was working with wasn't in until after work started and I was really hoping not to have to do it during work, but that's how it had to be. I think it actually worked out better because I couldn't allow myself to be emotional about it. I just did it like I was ordering office supplies. Done.

There are still more steps to take, but the biggest one has already been taken. This has been the longest, hardest most emotional project EVER.

It started out as "my" project, but in the end the whole family got involved in many evening "sit downs" to go over and over and over it. Brian really took the lead the last few weeks getting all the logistics ironed out and it really did help me stress a little less.

The man who we have been working with just so happened to have lost his firstborn granddaughter at a full term stillbirth...small sad world. Since he "gets it" he has been spending extra time with us because he knows how important it is that this be JUST right.

So after months of carrying around a paper version in my purse, creating a life size model, visiting "researching" cemeteries, asking for input, lots of tears and worry it is finally getting done!

I don't want to get too excited, but the time line I was given sounds like there is a possibility that Addi's stone could be placed on or before her birthday...oh my gosh! I can't tell you what that would mean.

So there we go, I made the call and I think I am happy about it or as happy as I can be. As my mom pointed out to me, we could spend the next 10 years working on her stone and it would never be perfect because there is nothing perfect about a headstone for your baby. I could make a new change every month, but I have to come to terms that is has already been a year (almost) and it's time. Having it will do more good than any change I could make. So now, we wait.

11 comments:

  1. I hope you will share a picture of it when it is placed. I'm sure it will be beautiful.

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  2. Isn't it such a weight off of your shoulders to have this in progress...it took me forever to get the order placed for my boys' stone as well. I am glad your guy gets it because I don't think my really does...although they have been good to work with. I got a message yesterday ours is done, now we need the cemetery to get in gear so the stone can be installed.

    We really should be finalizing birthday cakes, not headstones...lots of love in these upcoming weeks!

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  3. Cannot wait to see it! I'm sure is is wonderful!

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  4. I'm glad you were able to order it and it would be great if it were to be installed by her birthday. Your mom is right- could never be exactly right because of the situation.

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  5. How sad, but nice to work with a man who understands and is extra sympathetic. I'm sure it will be as perfect, just like Addison.

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  6. Wow, that's a huge step. Congratulations on getting it finalized. I know it weighed so heavy on your hearts. Hugs!

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  7. I am glad you finally did it...it will be perfect. I hope you share a picture when it is done.

    Thinking of you :)

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  8. Your mom is so right--there's nothing "right" about a headstone for a baby. But I'm glad you got it settled. I'm sure it's a relief to have it taken care of.

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  9. We had Emma's placed the week before her first birthday - it is a huge deal but I really "love" her stone (in the sense that I hate that I have to have one at all but, since I do, I love what we have and how it an expression of us and of her and our love) and I felt a real lightness when it was placed because her place was marked and her name was there. I hope it is like that for you too.

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  10. Must be a relief to finalise your Addison's stone... and wonderful that it may be done for her birthday and by someone who understands. Your mum's right - there is nothing perfect about a headstone for your baby - but I'm sure that what you've decided on will be perfect for her and you all as a family. My heart is with you in the lead up to her birthday xoxo

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  11. I'm so happy that you've finalized getting Addison's stone ordered. I felt the same way when we ordered Caroline's stone...it wasn't perfect, but I was pleased that I felt like it was the best we could do. Because, like your mom said, there really is nothing perfect about a headstone for your baby (or any headstone for that manner). Proud of you though!!!

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