Saturday I was running errands and trying to be the wife who actually gets some things accomplished. I managed to clean the house (okay some of it) take Annie to the dog wash place (I did the washing it's just easier not to have to bend over my tub for an hour) and go to Costco.
After I gave Annie her bath and she was smelling all great I walked her over to the pet store next door. I decided to buy her a bone for being such a good girl and hoping it would keep her busy while I shopped at Costco.
Why is it the people who work in pet stores ALWAYS refer to you as your pet's mom? That drives me freakin' nuts. I hated it before Addison and now it really pisses me off. I used to shrug it off, but now I make a point to say I am not her mom, she's just a dog. Don't get me wrong, I love this damn dog, but lets be clear if I lost her it would be nothing compared to what I have been through. To those of you that like being referred to as your pet's parent, that's fine for you it's just not my thing. I just only want to be referred to as Addison's mom and no one else...well eventually this baby, but I can't quite wrap my head around that either.
Okay, so after my pet store experience I went to Costco. I went about my shopping and tried to ignore the sweet little dresses, tutu's, footy pajamas (I LOVE those) etc. I even managed to walk by the Christmas decorations without getting too angry. I made it to check out. The lines were SO long...reminding me why I NEVER go to Costco on a Saturday. I had lots of time to look around while I waited for my turn to check out and then I saw it...
Right next to me in the line to my left was a mom with her kids. Her back was to me and her sweatshirt read across the back in big bold black letters ADDISON'S MOM *insert gut punch here*. It just took my breath away. I couldn't stop staring and it really hit me. I wanted to tell her that should be my sweatshirt. I wanted to tell her I had an Addison too, I wanted my Addison to be with me, but none of that could happen.
I know we picked a popular name, but damn did I have to be right there at that time in that line and did she have to have THAT sweatshirt on? I mean come on universe?!?! I hate that I will never be referred to as Addison's mom. As mom's we lose our identity with our kid's friends and their parents often times only referred to as so in so's mom...how I wish that was my fate.
Other kids/parents will hopefully know me as someone else's mom, but it stings that it won't be as Addison's. I wish I could wear the sweatshirt that advertises my daughter's team, but the only shirt I own with Addison's name on it advertises a group that helps families with funeral expenses. Ugh.
Why is it that society is more okay with associating me as my pet's mom than to my dead baby...now that's messed up.