Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Livin' on a prayer...and goldfish
I had pretty much decided that I wouldn't ever pray again unless it was for something like the way I "feel" about something. That I believe can be changed, but the actual outcome...not so much. I can pray for strength, wisdom, calmness etc. Those things may have a chance of changing for me.
And then we found out we were pregnant again and the only thing I felt like I had any control over was to pray. So I did. I still don't believe that I can keep this baby alive by praying, but you know what...it can't hurt. When we feel so powerless we need to take a little of the power back even if it is just psychological.
So I'm livin' on a prayer because that's all I got. Oh and goldfish lots and lots of goldfish. I am wonderfully nauseous every.single.day. You will get no complaints from me. This early when there is not much confirmation things are okay, nausea gives me some reassurance SOMETHING is happening. I know it isn't the all clear sign, but again it is something psychological for me to hold on to.
From the very moment I wake up in the morning I am feeling terrible...and it makes me thankful. My friend Jami suggested saltine goldfish. They are perfect! Just bland enough with a little salt and not messy at all like the saltine crackers. They have taken over my life. I have a box by my bed, in my car and on my desk at work. I start eating them from the moment I wake up until lunch time and then I start feeling a little better.
Also, my starbucks water cup is back! I never left home without it during my whole pregnancy with Addison. I am terrible at drinking enough water and this cup is PERFECT for helping with that! I need to be able to measure my intake, plus the straw makes me drink more AND the whole thing goes in the dishwasher...one of the best inventions of all time if you ask me. I have four, two grande size cups and two venti. I highly recommend them. You won't see me without it :)
This time around I learned that taking my prenatal after dinner is a no-no. You would think after years of taking them it wouldn't matter, but like they say every pregnancy is different and this one is no exception. I take them at lunch now and it seems to help.
Tomorrow is Thursday, which means the start of week 8. I have no real idea if things are okay or not, but for today I am trying to let my nausea calm me as much as possible.