Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Busy weekend!

Ever have one of those weekends where too much happens and it just feels way to overwhelming to try and write about it all? Well that's how I feel about this last weekend. It's Wednesday and I can't even muster up the patience to write about it all in the way it deserves to be written about so cliff note version it is and then I can have a clean slate to write about whatever new comes up...if I don't get this out now I may never write again...okay that is being a bit dramatic, but you know :)

First of all I am still headed up the roller coaster for this I am grateful! Another good week and I fully appreciate the good days.

Friday-Brian went to the Mariners v. Red Sox with my brother and our friends Megan and Jason (I don't really get into sports too much). They were all rooting for the Red Sox (Brian is from Maine). I feel like it is sacrilegious to root against the home team, but then again I don't care about sports so whatever. Red Sox won...good I think! My sister and I met up with friends at my favorite happy hour place, Puerta Vallarta mmmm cheap Mexican food! I spent the rest of the night at home like a bum on the couch catching up on the dvr (this was not sad induced, just felt good to relax).

Saturday-Spent the day running errands while Brian was at work even gave Annie a bath, I love the way this lab feels after she is all clean and silky. Also got my car washed and some other boring things that felt good to get crossed off my list.

When Brian got home we headed out to meet up with two of the couples from our child birth class and their babies for a BBQ. These two couples have stayed friends with us and their support is much appreciated. Addison was born in the middle of the two babies so it is fun and sad, but mostly fun to see their personalities and see where they are at developmentally. We miss out on SO much, so it is nice that we were able to maintain these friendships. It brings some kind of weird comfort to see what are lives SHOULD be like. Plus I really like this group of parents!

Sunday-Family reunion no. 2. I was really worried about it since the first one went so well...figured the last one may be more than I could handle, but it wasn't. No one said anything dumb, but mostly people didn't ask about Addison. I suppose I didn't really give them much of a chance. I stayed close to people I know that knew our story and the people who I wasn't sure about, I held my distance. It was like I didn't want to give them the opportunity to say something dumb...I don't know, I felt weird and anti-social, but the people who knew were wonderful and there was a lot of hugging going on!

Brian was "amazing" or so I keep hearing. He was the guy in the water, taking kids for rides on the jet ski and letting them use him as a human jungle gym. God, he is good with kids. Everyone kept telling me how great he was...something I already knew, but it's nice other people noticed. He was so wonderful with all the kids. As much as I love watching him with them, it breaks my heart that he isn't able to do all these fun things with Addison.

Sunday was also my good friend Kayla and Matt's 1st wedding anniversary. Happy anniversary to some wonderful I wish we could go back to that amazing day when I was the big fat pregnant bridesmaid! Good times!
Kayla kissing baby "Carlita" she brings out the silly in me!
Finally, this little blogger community that I have become apart of has been so helpful in my grieving. Some of the blogs I have been following are farther along in their baby loss journeys than I am. This weekend two of them celebrated the first birthday of their babies. A whole year away from their's hard to comprehend. I think it's important to send support in any way possible. Send them a note if you can :)

This little boy


Molly's son Hayes


  1. and cue the bawling... you are the sweetest. thanks for the shout-out. love the pic

  2. Love you Keleen! I loved that Carlita was able to experience our wedding! :) Love that little girl like crazy!

  3. great pic - shows how much that little girl is loved!

  4. Glad you are still on the "up". It is hard to see other babies born at the same time and the milestones you've missed. I had a hard time with that too cause my friend delivered 2 weeks after I had Addison. But at the same time it's so wonderful to see those healthy kids and it just makes your baby more real. I always thought that "these are the things Addison would be doing now. This is what I'm missing. But I'm still getting to see it in another child" and that felt good. I also like that your friends from birthing class still are there for you. I hated that my "pregnant community" kinda shunned me. Like I wasn't in their club anymore. I know they tried to protect me but they never realized that I felt like they weren't letting me be a part of it AT ALL anymore. I had a friend who wouldn't even come into my house. That hurt. I lost my daughter...why did I have to lose my friends too?