Monday, August 29, 2011

7 hours into 3 minutes

I feel like this last week has flown by. Last Sunday the 21st I took another pregnancy test. It was one of those "fancy" digital tests. It took FOREVER and then finally read NO-. For the record I don't recommend those tests. The old fashion double line tests are where it's can feel like there is a maybe with one of the second line could possibly be there, but the blaring NO is cruel and leaves no room for a maybe.

I was really angry after that test, not sad, but angry. I feel bad for was not a good week to be married to me :(

Our week was looking up as we got closer to meeting with M to tell our story. I always feel better after anytime I am able to talk openly about Addison.

This Sunday the 28th we met with M. This Sunday was WAY better than last Sunday. I thought he would take a few hours out of his day to listen to us, but he didn't...he took 7! I was nervous before he got to our house, pacing and feeling sick, but when he got there and we started talking all my nervousness went away.

We couldn't believe what a long day yesterday was. It was draining and hard with lots of tears, but it also felt really good to tell our story. I felt like M and his wife really tried to understand every aspect of our loss. They cried as we told our story. At one point we were all in tears and had to take a break and find all of the Kleenex in sight!

It is so refreshing to meet such professionals, but who are still able to share so much compassion. After 7 hours of filming, I was done, D-O-N-E. I was so glad to do it, but needed to relax after. I will be anxiously awaiting the final they are going to take 7 hours of film and turn it into a 3 minute piece is beyond me.

My hope is that by sharing Addison and our story that we are able to help someone, even just one someone. I know sharing Addi helps me feel like she isn't forgotten and that she counts, boy does she count!


  1. That sounds like an amazing and cathartic experience. I'm so glad you got to honor Addi in that one. Going back to all of those memories is hard, but there are definitely some parts that we don't ever want to forget.

  2. You are so brave to blog about your ttc journey. I just don't blog the week of the big FAT negative bc I can't handle it. Sucks. I've not taken a digi... LJ told me how bad they sting.

    Also, how awesome of you to share your story! I hope you'll be able to send us a link to it or share it somehow!!

  3. I'm sorry :( I feel awful that I got you a mean pregnancy test. Next time it will definitely be the line kind!

  4. I can't wait to hear about the final product. What a wonderful thing for you guys to always look back on. I can only imagine how emotional it must have been...thinking of you :)

  5. I so want to see the final product! I am so proud of you and your husband for telling Addi's story.

    Sorru about the BFN. I actually like the digital ones as they leave no room for chance. But the first time I used one was when we were pregnant with Allie and since they, they have all said the words I so hate to read. So maybe I better go back to the ones with the lines!!

  6. sorry to hear about the BFN, ugh!

    That is awesome though that you got to share your story. I would love to see the end result.

  7. I am so happy you got to share Addi. Hope I get to see the final product. Love you all! :)