Wednesday, July 13, 2011

It's a hard pill to swallow

Last night I finished up my umpteenth bottle of prenatal vitamins. It made me stop and think about how many of these horse pills I have consumed over the years...YES YEARS. I started taking them when we first started ttc. I figured out I have taken them for almost 3 years probably 1000 of them (and that's not to be dramatic, it's a very realistic number). I took them for the year it took us to get pregnant, the 9 months I was pregnant and then I continue to take them hoping to become pregnant again, which who knows how long that will take...maybe I will take them for the rest of my freaking life!

In reality I would still be taking them with Addison here because in a perfect world I would still be nursing her. Since I am not I am annoyed that I need to go purchase another bottle...those suckers aren't cheap! I feel like I should invest in stock of prenatal vitamins, ovulation tests and pregnancy tests or at least start buying in bulk!

It's hard to understand why I am where I am. I don't want to be here I just want the life I had planned. It's a hard pill to swallow this life of mine.


  1. Yes, I know those pills all-too-well. They're like $20/bottle for 3 months! That's not cheap but SO worth it. ;)

    I've been on prenatals (but w/o DHA) since I was about 15. I was always concerned about iron intake since my mom is Anemic, but I never test + for that. Didn't think the extra nutrients considering my vegetarianism would hurt anyway.

    So essentially I've been on prenatals for like 13 years!

    But this particlar pill is tough to swallow knowing we should be taking them while breastfeeding our sweet babes.

  2. Hi.... I found your blog from a post on baby center. I've read through your story, and it is somewhat similar to mine. We lost our baby boy to Trisomy 13 in January. We've now been TTC since March and I"ve already had two early miscarriages.... 3 losses in one year is just crazy to think about. I didn't think having babies was going to be this hard.. or heartbreaking!

    I hear you blogging about random things that go through my head everyday... especially the one about vitamins... lol!

    Anyhow... thank you for blogging. Even if others don't want to hear about all the challenges of life after baby loss... many of us do.

  3. Just in case you're interested, Amazon offers a deal on ovulation predictor kits if you "subscribe." Sign up for a subscription and they send you one a month (or every other month--you decide how often) for a reduced price. And you can cancel at any time. Not a bad deal if you're really considering buying in bulk!