Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Stupid Questions

If I had a nickel for everyone that asked me if we plan on having more children or that everything happens for a reason I would be a millionaire! The girl at the bank was like didn't you just have a baby? I told her yes and that we didn't get our happy ending...I thought that was a "nice" way to put it. She then had a million questions for me, how did it happen? Will you try again? blah blah then she goes well, everything happens for a reason...wow, can I punch her please?!? I know she meant well, but sometimes I have little patience for well meaning morons.

With that being said, I really don't mind the questions; it was just the way that they are asked that can bother me. Like some people ask if we will have more children and I can tell it is really genuine and then there are others (like bank girl) that make it sound like well you can have more and everything will be fine again. As if I can replace Addison like I can replace one of my pets! Whether they mean it or not, it's all in the way it is asked. I have noticed that my friends have questions for me, but are afraid to ask. I get it, I would be curious too. If you are curious about something, ask me, send me a message. I am really not shy about the details.

I got a call from an office supply place congratulating me on my new baby...I just said thank you and the lady didn't ask any questions so I just let it go, she doesn't need to know. I went to the gym on Monday and my yoga teacher and a fellow student asked about Addison so I told them. The one lady cried and they asked to say a little prayer. Even though I am a Christian, I don't feel like I need to pray all the time, but if it made them feel better than that is fine with me.

Sometimes I feel like it would just be easier if there was a ribbon, sign, t-shirt, SOMETHING I could wear that just says "my baby died" that way people would know and I wouldn't have to say it. Don't get me wrong I really like talking about Addison, but having to break the news to people sucks a big fat one!

Yesterday I went to look at headstones. I was really disappointed in the selection. Nothing seems good enough for her, but that seems to be how I feel about everything Addison related. If she only gets one, it has to be JUST right. A friend told me she wanted hers to be pink and precious and no better words seem to sum it up then that.

Yesterday was a bit hard, I know so many people in "baby bliss" right now, which I am really happy for all of them, but to think that they were getting to do all this fun baby related stuff while I was going to pick out a headstone...well...to say it sucks is an understatement.

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