Thursday, March 17, 2011

St. Patrick's Day


2010 St. Patrick's Day
It's so interesting to me how 1 year ago can feel like yesterday and like a million years ago all in the same moment. That's how I feel about a lot of things these days, but today I am thinking about St. Patrick's Day 2010.

I remember it well. It was my sister Alisa’s first St. Patrick's Day that she could legally consume green beer and we were on the hunt for a good place to go. It took us 3 tries, but we finally found a good spot. There were 8 of us all together and we were all excited to have a fun night out.

Brian and I were treating it as our "last" St. Patrick's Day as a childless couple. I didn't know I was pregnant yet, but I stayed away from the alcohol anyways. Someone needed to be the DD and I wasn't taking any chances just in case I was pregnant and it turns out I was!

We had a great night out being silly with our friends, but even that night I was thinking about how much I hoped this would be our last St. Patrick's Day just the two of us.

Here we are one year later...the three of us minus one. A couple once again. We don't need to hire a babysitter or stay in because we have a baby at home. Instead we are free to do as we please...how I wish we were "tied down" by a baby...our baby, our Addi.

We were planning on getting together with some of the same friends at the same place, but plans got cancelled. I'm actually pretty happy about that. It would have been fun to get together, but honestly I am over it. I was ready to spend my nights in and I already had my "last kid free St. Patrick's Day" I had my last kid free everything! Now everything is kid free and I hate it.

Maybe next year I will feel more celebratory when it comes to holidays, but I think I can count this year as a bust. All the holidays will be lacking because they are lacking Addison. I don’t expect any holiday to ever feel whole again, but I have faith that someday I will start to enjoy them not as I did before, but in a new way.

Looking back at pictures from last year when we were so happy is hard, but wonderful all at the same time. I am so thankful for that time in our lives. Oh what I would give to have that blissful happiness back even for just a moment.


The ladies


Me ruining Brian's fun

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