Saturday, February 12, 2011

Deliveries for the Nursery

This morning started off earlier than normal for me...I usually HATE getting up early on Saturdays, but now that I should be up early for Addison it seems only natural that my sleep in days are over. I decided to go try the body pump class at the gym for the first time. I had wanted to try it before, but never got around to it. It was ok, not as hard as I had expected. I will try to do it once a week. Maybe next week I will get up even earlier so I can get to the spinning class...I'm not promising anything, one class a day can be enough for me.

I went to weight watchers and then went to find the funeral home that a friend of the family works at. I need to find a headstone or at least start that process. I couldn't find it, but my dad called him and said to go on Tuesday so that will be my plan. I got a missed call from the furniture store...my ottoman that Brian ordered just before Addi was born for the rocking chair was delivered...great! I went to the store fully prepared to be asked. I went in and the lady says "Hi, getting much sleep these days"? Ugh. I told her, she cried...always makes me feel like such a douche to have to tell people, but it's not like it's fun for me to have to say it either.

I got home and put the ottoman in the nursery, it's perfect. I had to sit and rock. The dogs aren't allowed in the nursery, but I let Annie in. She is my old girl and she is the only one that I believe "knows" what’s going up. She was always my late night pregnancy buddy and she is so quiet in the nursery, she just lays at my feet. I know she would have been my nursing buddy. I decided to write in Addi's journal. It was nice, I just rocked, wrote and hung out with Annie. We were missing Addi together.

We get tons of "baby" mail every day. Just yesterday we got a picture special from Sears for our newborn and box of formula from some company. Every time something like that comes in the mail it makes me sad, but doesn't make me cry...you would think it would, but no, not yet at least. I remember the day of the funeral we were sitting at my parent's house and I saw the UPS truck come down the road...I knew it was her stroller. How weird to have the stroller delivered the day we said good bye...that didn't make me cry either and I don't know why. All these deliveries suck, but for some reason I can handle it ok. Thank goodness I guess.

Last night I looked over the million websites I had checked before for birth announcement/thank you cards. I got a sample from one of the places and I am SO glad I didn't order all of them, they didn't look half as nice in real life. I ordered a different sample so my goal is to get them, write in them and have them all sent out before the 3 month mark...hopefully the site sends them a.s.a.p. and they are nice! Since they are the only Addison cards I will ever get to send out they have to be JUST right! I also ordered return address labels with her butterfly footprints those will be for all our mail, after all she is the one that makes us a family...before her we were just the two of us.

It does make me smile that no one else in the world gets to be her mommy and no one else gets to be her daddy. She gave us those titles and made us a family, that is such an amazing gift she left for us.

I will post pictures of the ottoman and Annie bannanie. For the record her door to her room is ALWAYS open. It is not a sad place. I look in there every day, it's not scary or taboo. I kept the door open from the time we came home from the hospital; I never wanted it to get closed because I knew it would be hard to open back up. So there it is right there every day so there is no weirdness to it. It just is. We keep a baby gate up to keep the dogs out, they always want in. I actually really love that room, it makes me feel closer to Addison, I can go rock in that chair anytime I want and that is a great feeling.

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